| Twenty three years ago, my world fell apart when my husband of over 25 years filed for divorce after first off-shoring 25 years of marital assets. My youngest child was 4 years old, my oldest was about to go to college, and my middle child was hitting the rough waters of the teen years. I had stepped back from working in the architecture firm we had created together at his suggestion. We had plenty of work lined up and I received his suggestion as support for my desire to be more available for our three children. As it played out, this was not my husband’s intention as much as being able to arrange financials in my absence to be divorce-friendly for him. As a friend put it at the time of his filing for divorce, “so, it’s not a sports car kind of midlife crisis, eh?”.
I was devastated at the betrayal and furious at the ease with which he had betrayed his family. The company’s accountant, who I considered a friend, had cooked the books so my husband’s income not be sufficient for needing to pay child support nor alimony. I had no access to our savings of 25 years nor child support and had 3 children counting on me to figure out how to keep a roof over our heads. No job, no support from family, but a trust in life and a commitment to live my grit.
I committed to starting each day for a year with prayer, meditation, and journaling for partnering with my spirit and soul for getting through the changes and challenges of a financially devastating divorce. I created a business to offer women support and guidance for engaging the grace grit & gratitude of their life as women. Soon, problems seemed to solve themselves, dollars stretched in ways miraculous, and my children emerged as adults happy in their life. I learned and then taught how engaging the grace life sends us, even when it looks like a hell of a challenge, with the grit we have within us, creates a life one becomes grateful for.
After 23 years of helping people from around the world, what’s universal for changing one’s life is being able to receive the grace life offers and engaging one’s grit in response. If you read my testimonials you’ll notice what’s in common is a calling out of how I changed their life after years of their trying to do so elsewhere. I’ve come to understand that one of the reasons for this is that I help people engage with the spirit of who they are and the power that lies within their heart and soul. Power that is simply waiting for them to turn to, trust, and engage for making their life better. A power I call grit, responding often to what some call challenges and I call grace.
One of the reasons I have people fill out the Clarity Questionnaire before we meet for their no-cost Clarity Session is to measure their level of willingness to take action to change something for the better. I don’t take it personally when people don’t do so; enthusiasm alone does not create change. I have learned that if a person is not willing to extend a bit of effort for realizing a session at no cost to them, we are most likely not a good match for working together. Working with me requires being willing to take action and risk making different choices, not simply talking about wanting better.
Grit is related to resilience but different. Grit is related to power, but different as well. Grit is the willingness to get down and dirty for what you want, to take the uncomfortable and sometimes scary actions for creating what you seek in life. Grit is having your wounds not define you nor limit what you think is possible for you in life. As I celebrate 23 years of keeping the lights on and a roof over my family’s head, I feel gratitude for the grace shown me by life and people. And for learning to lean on my grit for starting over with little but what lay within me.
In my next newsletter, I’m going to share some thoughts on how the times we live in require we become more of our own authority for navigating the turmoil and changes of our world. Engaging the spirit and soul of who you are is a key factor for being stronger in being your own authority and for knowing what is true for you and living such. More when we meet again. Be well and talk soon. |
