It’s been awhile since I put out a newsletter and god knows, it’s not for lack of material to write about these days of turmoil and challenge. More that life brought significant loss my way which I’ve been processing, seeking wisdom around, and making changes initiated by the losses. Which takes time, as I remind people when they get frustrated or discouraged with how long it is taking to realize a desired change in their life.
I‘m realizing how change is a loss of sorts; what was, is no more. Which got me to wondering if people resist change, even when they don’t like the status quo, in part due to change bringing loss with it. Even change that we choose. Change is a death of sorts; the death of what was, of what needs to be made different, or of what we are used to. Given we are taught to fear death, perhaps this is also part of resistance to change? Or, how when change shows up, we can judge ourself or something as being wrong.
You may well be wondering what’s up with my waxing poetic as to the nature of change, loss, and death. Part of the work I do helping people learn to advocate for themselves and the life they seek requires their engaging change. The process of change brings with it times of discomfort and the need to take risks instead of settling for being unhappy or discontent. Even changes foisted upon us, such as changes in relationship status or health challenges, will require we risk making different choices and have us feeling uncomfortable at times.
Change can test how you feel about yourself and shine a light on unresolved wounds from earlier in life. Needing to change can challenge your identity, your sense of security, what you believe to be true about yourself or life. For example, divorce can be the death of your dream of marriage as love happily ever after. And when a dream dies, how does one risk creating and trusting another dream?
What can bring relief when change shows up is engaging more of yourself, especially aspects of yourself you don’t usually engage; emotional, physical, or spiritual. If your habit is to discount or ignore what you are feeling, taking the time and care to receive what you are feeling through journaling or talking with a wise person can offer useful reflection for navigating the change. If you pride yourself on how many tasks you can complete in a day, the soul of you may be starving for expression; allowing the soul of you more presence in your life can bring clarity and strength for using to guide your way through change.
Change can provoke feelings challenging and uncomfortable about yourself and your security and worth. Yet clinging to status quo can keep you stuck in what is no longer true nor serving you anymore. Life requires your being able to receive the quiet whisper of your intuition for navigating your life with clarity and wisdom. And when we ignore this quiet whisper within, life will often deliver suffering that we cannot ignore. It takes time to learn to trust yourself as we are taught to follow the authority of others in life more than trusting our own authority. That and being honest with yourself about the real difference between talking about wanting better for yourself versus taking the actions needed to create better for yourself.
Happiness and fulfillment in life requires more than ever listening to your wisdom within for living true to yourself. Information is everywhere, yet without the wisdom for engaging information, you can feel overwhelmed or confused as to how to make the choices for what you seek in life. Information alone is not enough to feel happy and satisfied in life. Knowing what is true for you, what feeds your soul and honors your heart, is how happiness and living one’s best life is realized. That and the willingness to take the risks needed to create different choices and outcomes in your life.
In my next article about change, I’ll share thoughts about what I call the grit needed for a life happy and fulfilling. I invite you to sign up for a no-cost Clarity Session for spending 30 minutes with me if there is a challenge you are seeking some new perspective with. Simply click here and once I receive your responses, I will email you with a choice of times to meet by either Zoom or phone, your choice.
